


lumière, darling

by lovesaudade



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Domestic, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, Slice of Life, kiho monthly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-04-20 17:54:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14266464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovesaudade/pseuds/lovesaudade
Summary: it's his last morning with hoseok, and kihyun cherishes everything that the light touches.(round two for kiho monthly: hurt/comfort)





	lumière, darling

**Author's Note:**

> this is loosely inspired by ed sheeran's "tenerife sea", even used it in the fic and the title, too. i went to his concert recently and he played this, one of my favorite songs ever. and i, an emotional sap, got so inspired and decided to write a fic while the song was on repeat.
> 
> i waited for the right pairing to dedicate the fic to and then suddenly, this [photo](https://twitter.com/juseyowonho/status/983184192098811904) popped up so i was sold~  
>    
> edit: my friend said that kiho monthly's theme for april fit well with my fic and suggested that i submit it, so i did!!! hehehe
> 
> happy reading, my dears!! c:

 

_you look so beautiful in this light_

_your silhouette over me_

 

* * *

 

softness. warmth. love. _the light of his life._

it dances along the peaks of kihyun’s cheeks, a quiet hum in tune with it. his closed eyelids twitch under the ministrations, sighing as he is slowly being pulled out of his slumber. it, being a pair of pillow-like lips, press delicately on his bare face. the tender kisses leave a trail to create a constellation with his light freckles sprinkled on his skin.

he sighs again, lasting a second longer before a sleepy chuckle escapes his own lips when he feels a comforting peck on his defined nose. eyelashes fluttering, his vision changes from pitch black to almost blinding albeit a little blurry.

when the sleep gradually unclouds his eyes, he is met by the sun personified, with tussled black hair and a toothy grin in full view. kihyun smiles at the sight, sweet and gentle. it’s been five years, two as friends and three as lovers, and kihyun still feels the same love and adoration that grows in his chest every time he sees the man atop him.

the crescent eyes staring down at him emanates the purest form of love kihyun has ever seen. warm, meaningful, and gleaming. it’s always been a dream of his to find someone like him—to be looked like he was the entire world. kihyun thanks his lucky stars every day, even more so when he sees them finding a home in the other’s obsidian eyes.

“kihyunnie?” the man whispers, voice sounding deep but soothing like a morning breeze, as a thumb caresses over kihyun’s cheek. “good morning, darling.”

“good morning to you, too.” kihyun murmurs, his own fingers carding through his lover’s charcoal locks, “how long have you been awake?”

“not long enough,” he kisses a line down kihyun’s jaw, “we need to get out of bed in twenty minutes and get ready.”

a part of kihyun’s heart chips off, pretends it doesn’t hurt when it falls to the pit of his stomach. instead he continues to smile and responds, “we can stay for a few more minutes, hoseok-ah.”

“yoo kihyun not following a schedule _he_ made? who are you and what have you done to my boyfriend?”

the younger sticks his tongue out, wrapping his arms around hoseok’s neck. “it wouldn’t hurt. just ten more minutes, please?” he bites his lip the way his boyfriend finds cute and endearing for extra effect.

it works splendidly. hoseok groans playfully as he lowers himself onto kihyun chest to chest, enough to not crush the small man under his well-built body. “you can’t do that, that’s cheating.”

wanting to test hoseok’s resolve, kihyun takes it a step further. he releases his bottom lip in a tempting pace, and when he’s sure that hoseok is staring, runs his tongue along his lip, too.

not a second too soon, kihyun feels his boyfriend capture his lips in a soaring kiss. morning breath be damned, a taste of hoseok is kihyun’s favorite thing to wake up to. it’s of something minty and essentially hoseok, tongues swirling while they get more passionate with each other.

kihyun allows one hand to tangle in his boyfriend’s hair, his pale hand contrasting strikingly against the black, tugging it for encouragement. a moan resonates against his lips, reaching it in his very soul, too. the sensation reminds kihyun more of home than the simple, chic bedroom they share—more than the actual house they spent on together. hoseok’s mouth, hoseok’s arms, hoseok’s presence; it’s all kihyun’s home.

wherever hoseok is, that’s where kihyun feels the safest.

“my god, you make me want to stay here forever.” hoseok murmurs, nibbling on the very lip kihyun teased him with.

“i do, too.” kihyun gasps, gripping hoseok closer than ever.

because despite the perfect little world they’re settled in now, something at the back of kihyun’s head reminds him that this won’t last. this feeling, this comfort—this will probably be the last time they’ll have this. his heart cracked a little from the painful reminder.

hoseok pulls away from kihyun, and the latter takes in as much of the former as he can. the early morning graces its presence in their room, creating an ethereal glow on the couple. the light can’t compete with the whole of hoseok, kihyun believes, but it does bring out more of the older’s beauty. it’s clichéd, but how could he not think that when the sun brings attention to hoseok’s natural pinkish glow of his cheeks, the slightly dark circles from working hard to the bone, and to the faint scars and moles gracing every other inch of his face?

it’s all so wonderful, hoseok being wonderfully imperfect. his imperfection shines so beautifully upon kihyun’s eyes, upon kihyun’s life.

after a few more tender kisses—and a hickey or two adorning kihyun’s collarbone courtesy of hoseok’s greedy, cheeky mouth—the two finally roll off their bedsheets. kihyun throws a giggling fit when hoseok lands harshly on his butt on the wooden floor. at first, hoseok pouts, but kihyun notices the exact moment when hoseok just melts before him and chuckles along with him, their laughter twinkling in harmony.

the sunlight follows their every move as they go about their morning routine, milking in the time they still have together. nerves are stirring in kihyun’s chest, his fingers quivering in the slightest while he buttons up his shirt. the damn buttons are so small, slipping in between his fingertips that almost had him whining under his breath. two hands cover his, bigger and warmer, and swiftly work on finishing the last three buttons.

kihyun looks up and smiles gratefully at hoseok, his view a little obscured from his chocolate brown fringe.

the older brushes the hair away, landing a placating kiss on kihyun’s hairline. “all set?”

kihyun studies the duffle bag and suitcase by his boyfriend’s feet, lugged downstairs by said boyfriend. frowning slightly, he also sees a murky, green jacket hanging off one of hoseok’s arms from the corner of his eye. “yeah, i think so.”

“hey now,” hoseok lifts up kihyun’s chin with two fingers, “it’ll be fine, i promise.”

“how would you know?”

hoseok grins, a simple lift of the corner of his lips, and kihyun feels his knees weaken under him. “you trust me, right?” kihyun nods quietly, and his smile gets bigger. “good, so you have nothing to worry about.”

“but what if—”

kihyun gets cut off by the sweetest way, a warm press of home in the form of hoseok’s lips. exhaling shakily when they separate, kihyun gazes up again at his boyfriend and tries to bare a grin.

“alright, and as much as i don’t want to, let’s go.”

a lighthearted boop and peck lands on kihyun’s nose before hoseok says, “park the car up front and open the back. i’ll bring all the bags out.”

a sly hand makes it way to hoseok’s back pocket in search for the car keys, and kihyun laughs under his breath when he fishes it out quickly from his boyfriend’s front pocket. the little whimper hoseok makes is readily stored in kihyun’s mind, a barrier between his current state of happiness and _those_ thoughts about today.

they know they’re both stalling, kihyun pretending to have trouble starting up the car and hoseok pretending to struggle with the bags from their front door to their car. but the engine’s rumbling through the serene air and all bags are situated in the back, so they have no choice but to take their place, hoseok on the driver’s seat and kihyun opposite him.

the ride, besides the soft lull of the radio, is quiet. it’s not uncomfortable nor tense, but maybe it’s from the way hoseok is holding, _clutching_ onto kihyun’s hand. by no means does kihyun feel pain. instead he feels love, sorrow, and the need to be in close proximity. he does his best to deliver such plea, from his thumb running over the knuckles to occasionally brushing his lips against the warm skin.

it’s also kihyun’s way to cope with the situation they’re in. the light that is his lover, shin hoseok, is right next to him, but he’s gradually moving farther away the longer this car ride lasts.

“kihyunnie?”

the younger turns, burying his worries deep before showing his loveliest smile, putting them both at ease. “yes, hoseok-ah?”

“sing for me?”

the request, though sudden, is granted almost immediately. kihyun’s voice is one of hoseok’s favorite things about him—among an endless list of kihyun’s quirks—seeing as it’s the first thing hoseok saw kihyun doing when they met for the first time. he settles in singing along with the radio, not minding that he doesn’t know all the words. it’s a slow tune, a calming guitar accompaniment weaving and blending seamlessly with kihyun’s rich tone.

as the last strum of the song, they’ve reached their destination. parking is nearly impossible, though kihyun felt more miserable than happy when hoseok finds a spot.

hoseok takes the keys out of the ignition and they settle into the silence. kihyun is afraid to move; moving means _this_ is really happening. _this_ is not going to stop, and neither kihyun nor hoseok can’t do anything about it.

he takes a chance to look at the older, feeling water gather by the brim of his eyes. a stray tear rolls down hoseok’s cheek but kihyun is scared to flick it away.

“we’re here.” hoseok finally utters, “we gotta head out.”

kihyun shakes his head in affirmation but makes no attempt to follow through.

“kihyunnie,” hoseok tries again, this time looking straight at his boyfriend.

“i know,” it hurt kihyun to say the words, but he tries to focus on hoseok’s beautiful, tear-streaked face. “just give me a moment, please.”

hoseok reaches out, placing his hand by kihyun’s neck and works on the knots forming there. “we don’t have a lot of time, darling.”

kihyun takes in a deep breath. he’s not ready, he wants more time, he wants _hoseok._ “you’re right, i’m sorry.” he smiles sadly. placing a kiss on hoseok’s wrist, kihyun wrangles out of his seatbelt and exits the car, closing the door with a watery exhale.

he curls and uncurls his fists by his sides again and again, hoping that this is all a nightmare. he wishes his fingernails digging into his palm can wake him up and bring him back to this morning, back when it was just him and hoseok in a cocoon of sheets and love. back in their perfect, perfect world where no one is leaving the other.

kihyun’s head tilts slightly to the right and realizes that’s from hoseok kissing his temple, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. the damn duffle bag on hoseok’s broad shoulder, the damn suitcase’s handle in his free hand, and that damn green jacket hanging of the other arm.

“come on, let’s go this way.”

kihyun lets the older lead him, feet only moving on its own, almost against his will. the loud roar of airplane engines and irritable travelers surround them, and kihyun shrinks himself deeper into hoseok. his heart pounds loudly, painfully against his chest and his breath his starting to get even shallower.

by the time they’re at the designated waiting area, kihyun is securely tucked into hoseok’s embrace. he doesn’t care if he’s a grown man sitting on his boyfriend’s lap in public, clutching the cottony shirt in his small hands.

“kihyunnie, darling, keep breathing for me, okay? that’s it, follow my breathing.”

the younger hides his face further into hoseok’s shoulder, quivering in his hold but manages to do what hoseok is telling him.

“that’s it, baby,” hoseok whispers by kihyun’s ear, “you’re doing so well.”

he hears what his boyfriend is saying but he feels that it’s far from the truth. kihyun is spiraling, crumbling in hoseok’s caring hold. he really wants to be strong for hoseok. he needs hoseok, his reliable source of light, to reach him in the darkness he’s wallowing in. every tick of the airport’s clock heaves him deeper—he’s drowning, struggling, feeling _trapped._

“i’m still here, kihyunnie. please stop crying.”

“i love you, hoseok. i love you so, so much.” kihyun snivels against the damp patch of hoseok’s shirt. “i’ll miss you. i already miss you even if you’re right _here._ i can’t bare the fact that we’ll be away from each other for so long. it’s gonna feel like a lifetime, not seeing you first thing in the morning, not being able to talk to you about your day, not arguing about something stupid before ending up in the couch cuddling and kissing—”

“kihyun, darling,” hoseok leans back and cups kihyun’s face, wiping every tear away. “stop thinking that we’ll never see each other again.”

“what if we actually don’t and—”

hoseok rests his forehead on kihyun’s, both boys trembling from the contact. “no, kihyun, we’re going to be okay.” he kisses the younger for a quick second. “time will fly by so fast and before you know it,” another kiss. “we’ll be together again, back in our home.” and two more kisses.

“i’m right at home with you.” kihyun blinks back the new batch of tears crawling behind his eyelids.

“and i, with you.” hoseok showers kihyun’s face with more kisses just like this morning, but also completely different from this morning, too.

with the little time they have, kihyun revels in hoseok and his effervescent light, and kisses hoseok wherever his lips can reach. but then, the intercom echoes through the wide, pristine space of the airport, and kihyun swears his heart stops at the announcement.

giving one last, tight hug, hoseok carefully slides kihyun off his lap. they both stand with unsteady legs before they make their way to the departure gate, hands intertwined and tears staining both their cheeks.

so there they stand, and kihyun _wants_ to look hoseok in the eye. but he knows if he does, he’s going to want to run away. run away from this forsaken moment, from the forsaken place, and just _be_ with hoseok.

the older adjusts the article of clothing on his arm, and kihyun focuses on that despite the camouflage print is mocking him. “this is it. it’s time to go.”

“yeah, it is.” kihyun says, exhausted. he finally lifts his head and gazes into hoseok’s shiny, pretty eyes for the last time until god knows when. “i love you, and i'll miss you.”

hoseok brings a hand up, the one not gripped tightly in kihyun’s, and tucks a lock of brown behind the other’s hair. “i love you and i'll miss you, too, kihyunnie. take care of yourself, okay?”

“you, too, hoseok-ah.” he chokes out, already leaning close to kiss the older again.

it’s more salty than sweet, more unstable than reassuring, more heartbreaking than heartwarming. but kihyun cherishes it all in the same because it’s hoseok—his home, his god-send of a light.

hoseok pulls back first and kihyun finally accepts that their time has run out. “i’ll see you soon, baby.”

“and not a moment longer.” kihyun breathes out.

hoseok clutches on to the duffle bag, suitcase, and the thick, military jacket closer one more time.

then, passes them on to his lover.

“come back home, okay, darling?”

kihyun memorizes hoseok’s every detail as much as he can. and when his eyes finally land on hoseok’s, he treasures the things pooling in them before he takes his first step away to catch his flight:

softness. warmth. love. _the light of his life._

 

* * *

 

_should this be the last thing i see_

_i want you to know it's enough for me_

_'cause all that you are is all that i'll ever need_

 

**Author's Note:**

> .......i hope i did the plot twist justice but if i didn't, i still hoped that you enjoyed reading nonetheless~
> 
> also me writing hoseok in this made me Very Soft for him 'cause he'd totally be the type to give multiple nicknames to his significant other fjisnfnskferi
> 
> kudos, comments, and constructive criticisms are welcomed and appreciated! you may also reach me via twitter: @_kihyunghyuk. thank you!


End file.
